Just some hump day humor for ya :)
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
As I was walking home last night from work, I was anxious to get home- it had been a long day and I was ready to relax. Of course I couldn't venture down to my gym in fear of running (no pun intended, ha!) into the millions of people who's New Year's resolution was to work out more OR to run into psycho EX personal trainer toothless man. yikes. You'll be happy to know I haven't had any more episodes with him- it's as if he has disappeared. Although, now that I've said that I am SURE he will pop up again. Maybe he got a new grill for Christmas.
Back on track- so I was strolling along, trying not to get knocked over by the crazy wind that has come to town, when I smelled something grossssss. I couldn't figure out what it was, ( I think I'm happy I couldn't) but I realized that I smell a LOT of funky stuff walking home and thought I'd share. Sharing is caring after all :)
1. Leaving work, normally my favvvvorite popcorn stand guy, Mike, is still in his cart on the street corner selling his poppie corn and chatting with everyone. The fabulous aroma of his cart gets me every time. I love his popcorn and I am here to promote him. It's cheap and it's goood and I love Mike. BONUS- he hasn't ever hit on me. Now I've probably jinxed myself though.
2. On the metro- this smelly area changes daily. During the summer it can be sweaty smelling, and during the winter you tend to smell more perfumes/colognes, etc. I'll never understand why people think that drenching themselves in smelly smells makes them smell good. You simply smell like you are incompetent and can't figure out what an appropriate amount is. Dummies.
3. Walking up the Chinatown metro escalator- smoke. There's always tons of people smoking their cancer sticks up there. It's the hot spot for all kinds of crazies. There's sweaty gym guys trying to get you to pump some iron in Washington Sports Club, homeless guys selling umbrellas (they all smell different) and high school/middle school kids having break dancing competitions- I try not to get too close to them because I don't want them to challenge me to a dance off b/c I'd have to break it down. I'd rock their world with a sweet combo of MC hammer,Michael Jackson and throw in a little Britney bitch at the end for good measure. On second thought, maybe I shouldn't shelter the world from my dancing skills anymore?? hmm.
Back on Topic.
4. The bus stoppers- these people stand for the bus and I think that there must be some law that I don't know about that says that if you stand for the bus in front of Chinatown that you need to smoke grape flavored black and milds. It is the wierdest thing. But they smell- and they spit! Maybe they can't handle all the grape flavor and feel the need to spit, but I feel like I'm running through an obstacle course with camels spitting at me and I gotta be quick to dodge their wads of smelly grape saliva. Ew.
5. The food- Walking by the "Big Wong", "Wok and Roll", "Vappianos", and the wierd place on the corner that used to be a XXX video store but now says they sell sushi (I'm not sure if that's code for something else) you smell a LOT of food. Individually it kinda smells good, but mix it all together and yeah- not so much.
Oh the joys of the city :)