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Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Be All That You Can Be..But Not an Toothless Mans Escort

Top O' the mornin to ya - Frequently over the years, I have had many friends tell me that things/situations happen to me that do not happen to anyone else they know (thus the reason for my blog). I always say "no way, I'm sure stuff like this happens to people all the time"..and then I'm proven wrong. Let the story begin.

One of my dearest friends is getting married (YAY!) in September and as one of her maids of honor I decided it would be a good idea to get my big ole' booty in shape for the upcoming nuptials. I started going to the gym in my building much more frequently and trying my very hardest to avoid those delicious little mini chocolate covered donuts in the grocery storewho haunt my dreams every night. While trying my hardest not to fall off of the treadmill one night- I was approached by a man (we will call him BOB so he doesn't stalk and kill me) whom I've seen training people in the gym before. Long story short- I told him I would pay him to train me. Fast forward a few weeks and I've now learned he's a bit sketchy- he tells me things like "eventually I'll just train you for free and you won't have to pay me anything" and constantly asks me if he can "trust me". Soooo the other night he calls me and basically says that he would like to train me for free if I will "get dolled up, go out with him and act the part". He says that I just need to look good so that other people will see how his services have worked. I officially get creeped out because he says I can't tell anyone about this "arrangement" not even my roommate. SKETCHYYYY. He now calls me at work, on my cell phone and I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to hire a body guard to protect me from my EX- personal trainer. GREAT.

So the lesson here kids is- not only can you prevent forest fires, you can also prevent wierdos trying to have you be their escort by avoiding my building while in gym clothes and do not talk to a big guy missing one of his front teeth.

Off to dye/cut my hair and change my name.

Adios, Blogurittos!

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